Like elsewhere, the parents are very meticulous
in the selection of a perfect partner for their daughter. You get the groom to
live in your house forever. Isn't that a
profitable package?
You might agree or you might not. Now, to win a husband, the bride’s family has to pass through a rigorous screening process. The guy can’t live anywhere and everywhere. So you need a house and a fully functional bedroom complete with a television set and bath attached of course. This may not seem much to some, but what if your father earned just a few thousand rupees a month? Joint family? You are off the check list. A member working abroad is a welcome addition. The trouble doesn't end with the toils and labour for the search of a “handsome husband”, this is just the beginning. So the guy stays in your house for the rest of his life, he has to be well fed – chicken and meat till he says “Okay, feed me some fish too.” This is al right if the guy pays for it; it often happens that the “allowance” doesn't cover the expensive menu. This gets even more interesting. The guy feels he needs to take a break from his work, he takes it, beware this break may extend too long. Who pays for the family now that they have kids?? No, don’t take the liberty of giving some friendly advises, he might just leave off and never be back again. He might leave otherwise too, as and when he wants. The parents who bought up their daughter are left stranded with the addition of grand kids too.
You might agree or you might not. Now, to win a husband, the bride’s family has to pass through a rigorous screening process. The guy can’t live anywhere and everywhere. So you need a house and a fully functional bedroom complete with a television set and bath attached of course. This may not seem much to some, but what if your father earned just a few thousand rupees a month? Joint family? You are off the check list. A member working abroad is a welcome addition. The trouble doesn't end with the toils and labour for the search of a “handsome husband”, this is just the beginning. So the guy stays in your house for the rest of his life, he has to be well fed – chicken and meat till he says “Okay, feed me some fish too.” This is al right if the guy pays for it; it often happens that the “allowance” doesn't cover the expensive menu. This gets even more interesting. The guy feels he needs to take a break from his work, he takes it, beware this break may extend too long. Who pays for the family now that they have kids?? No, don’t take the liberty of giving some friendly advises, he might just leave off and never be back again. He might leave otherwise too, as and when he wants. The parents who bought up their daughter are left stranded with the addition of grand kids too.
The parents, the wife and the kids if any are
under constant mental stress and strain. The financial constraints, the
prospect of pleasing the husband, the burden of taking care of the kids is such
a huge package, no wonder they all fall sick. As is commonly known constant
tensions and worries cause diseases too. So add to the above, the burden of
treating the family. Hypertension, diabetes, arthritis and allergies are the
trending diseases. Would the treatments afford some relief to the patients?
Partially yes, but not completely. They often are not able to carry on with the
treatment. Or some other problems come up which needs immediate attention. Once
a drop out, always a drop out.
Homoeopathy is a system of medicine which does
not treat the disease but the person as a whole. It is the only system which is
able to afford relief to the mental stress without resorting to tranquillizers or other suppressants. But the maintaining cause of the disease, the cares and
worries are not removed, and this acts as an obstacle to homoeopathic cure. I
would like to quote from an article “The Deflected Current” by Dr. H.A. Roberts. It was
Hahnemann himself who emphasized the fact that nothing was as deleterious to
health as unhappy domestic conditions; that these conditions could, and often
did, prove insuperable obstacles to cure. It is fortunate that the simillimum often can take the additional
tension from the patient, or may lift off one series of symptoms; but so long
as these strains persist under the surface, one cannot expect cure.
Nevertheless, if the physician does not realize that these underlying
influences exist, he may fall so far short of helping the patient that he may
imperil his own belief in the homoeopathic possibilities of cure, as well as
the confidence of the patient.”
Is it possible to make changes in the age old system, for the
purpose of bringing a smile to hearts? Time to ponder…
Dear Reshma
ReplyDeleteThis type of wedding and the groom staying in brides place may be a common phenomena in Kerala and some communities here, but in majority the groom stayes with his parents or away from his parents with his bride.
OK agreed if there are problems in the IPR amongst the H and W - we can say that yes problems after marriage, but if the groom stays at brides residence then u can say that is problem invited and that too a strong maintaining cause for all the problems.
Unless something you said at the end - " Is it possible to make changes in the age old system, for the purpose of bringing a smile to hearts?" Yes it is Time to ponder…
Well said Reshma. However as MK said above a majority of the problems in our lives are created by us only. No one forces us to follow the age old customs but unfortunately we change our fashion, mobiles, vehciles, houses, furniture etc according to the latest trend but we are hesitant to make simple changes in life that may result in lots of happiness to one and all. In a marriage the entire responsibility lies on the groom but it has been shared by the girl's parents in Kerala and down South the entire marriage expenses are borne by girl's parents which is another burden.
ReplyDeleteIt's time to ponder and make these changes now.